Arrived and Carrying On

Hi everyone. It's been almost two weeks since I got home and I've just been settling in and trying to get excited to go back to work! Today was my first day back and it's going to be a real adjustment to go back to daily responsibilities. I've been working on my photos (cut them down to around 900) and am uploading them to Snapfish. I do not have any captions or info on them yet. Also, I think you need to open a Snapfish account before you can view the pictures . . . pole sana. Please enjoy the pictures!

http://www2.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=255739767/a=164543744_164543744/otsc=SHR/otsi=SALBlink/COBRAND_NAME=snapfish

Orphanage Pictures II

This is little Brian, commonly called Bri-Bri. He is actually Bryson's (the baby) older brother - but no one is sure if he knows it.





These are three of the girls. They stuck to themselves a lot and I think they resisted getting close to use. Life in the orphanage was particularly unfair to them as they had to wash the dishes after lunch and help with the cleaning - while the boys went for naps. But they are resilient and silent and never complained.

Can't remember his name but he had the most adorable infectious smile. Beautiful little guy.






These are the twins and some of the oldest boys. They were kind of aloof at first but turned out to be so sweet and really took charge well. Mom and dad, dont they kind of remind you of Richard?




And this is my little Luini . . . absolutely unforgettable and totally loveable.

Orphanage Pictures

This is baby Bryson, the youngest child there. I spent a lot of time with him. At the end the mamas told me to stop holding him because he was getting too used to being rocked asleep and after I left they would not continue it.



This is Puis and Riziki. Puis was one of my favorites, super skinny and looks like a little old man. Riziki is one of the smartest boys there and one of the babies I took to the doctors.




This is Esther at one of her serious moments. She was sad this day, and she would get sad a lot. Megan and I took her to the doctors too.





This is Mbeke, Esther and Luini. Mbeke was a CRAXY little guy and never wore clothes that fit so I was always pulling his pants up and wiping his nose. He had this really CRAZY laughter. Luini is the little guy that didnt like to have other people touch me when he was touching me.



This is Brian, Kalvine, and another little boy. Brian is the one that was often mean but was so sweet the last day. Kalvine was a little sweetheart, could pout with the best of them. On the last day he was grabbing my butt and running away laughing so hard. Loved these kids.

Final Days

Hi everyone, so I have been spending my last few days in Africa having a really nice time. On Saturday I went to the orphanage for the last time with Megan and two of her friends who are volunteering at different schools. We had decided to meet in the morning and buy some snacks to take with us - the kids go crazy with outside snacks and love it. So we bought some cookies and some biscuits and then resolved to get Steven to get some fruit once we got there. We all squeezed on a dala-dala together (and I honestly mean that) and it was one of the funniest rides I have had in a long time. It felt like one of those clown cars, where each time you stop more and more people get out and you have to wonder - where the heck are all those people coming from? Hmm, I didn't realize there were 10 people in the backseat made for 3. We were being so goofy and it was nice to have some other people with me to share in those experiences. Sometimes when I am alone and having these experiences they can stress me out or annoy me, but its amazing what a difference it makes to have other people around to share it with you. We arrived at Camp Moses and found that all the kids from Camp Joshua (the older kids) and some other random group were visiting. It was kind of annoying. Even more annoying, all of the other random kids were dressed in these cute little uniforms. Don't get me wrong, all our kids were adorable in matching plaid clothes, but you know we had a rip here and a tear there - and being so close to obviously wealthy kids was kind of annoying - felt like they were flaunting it. So automatically we hated the other kids. We kind of grumbled around for awhile and waited for them to be done - turns out they were practicing for a church event on Sunday. Around noon their program ended and all the kids ran out to meet us - and it turned out to be a ridiculously perfect day. I don't know what it was - though I suspect it was because there were four of us - but all the kids were amazing. They wanted to be hugged and kissed and touched and teased. Most of the time most of the kids are loving, but there are a good handful that don't like to be touched and are really mean and antisocial. One kid, Brian, absolutely astounded me by letting me take his face in my hands and kiss it AND by spending some time sitting in my lap and touching my hair. ALL the kids were like that and Megan and I were so amazed and happy and just loving it. I really think it had to do with the fact that there were four of us - with 20 kids and 1 or 2 volunteers there is just not enough time or attention to go around. But with four of us we were each able to take on 5 kids - which is easy if you have one sitting on each limb and then a 5th between your legs. It's really hard to describe how amazing it was, but the kids were just so HAPPY and it made my heart feel so good to be with them when they felt so good. Another AMAZING thing was that I believe the Mamas had been following the medicine schedule I had put together - and that would have been enough to make my whole week. It can be frustrating and, in this case, scary to think what happens when that kind of basic care is not followed. So we left around 3:00 and went back into town and then I parted ways with Megan. I ran some errands and then met a friend for dinner. The friend, Hilda, had arranged the tour for Tim and I and had patiently dealt with all of my travel changes . . . we had a nice 2 hour dinner and talked about marriage and families and what goes on in her life and culture. I love getting little tidbits like that into peoples lives because I think it helps me understand the people and culture that much more.
Sunday morning was my free day - and I was happy to have it. I spent the entire day at the pool at the hotel where we had stayed for our safari - and it was nice. I kind of approached it as my 'Mombasa Day' since I was forgoing my beach activities at the end. Naturally I got a little burnt - I always forget that my antimalaria medicine makes me very sensitive to the sun. But of course I will do almost anything for a little golden glow so its all good. In the late afternoon I took the dala-dala home (which would be my last for a long time) and had a late dinner courtesy of Rosy. I spent the rest of the evening just packing and preparing for my morning bus ride to Nairobi. I spent some time before bed just reflecting about this trip and talking with my parents and trying to gauge how I really felt. I KNOW that I'm tired. I KNOW that I am ready for a break - but I guess I just don't know how ready I am to come home? I was having a really tough time thinking about this because its been such a special time in my life - and now its over. The best way to describe it is this - I will never have this again. And when I look at it like that I become incredibly sentimental and sad. I feel like such a good person here. I feel happy. I feel relaxed. I LOVE never being cold. I love never wearing proper shoes. I LOVE how people have just taken me into their lives, no questions asked. I LOVE how I have adapted to accept and welcome situations that would have annoyed me at home. and I have just LOVED the freedom. I just love so much of this and it makes me sad that it's ending. I think I need to try really hard when I come home to be this same person. To learn to be kind and happy. To make decisions that make me happy. And to just freaking CHILL out. I guess this will just be an evolving experience, something I reflect on constantly and bring out to make sure I am being the person I know I can be.
On Monday I took a bus to Nairobi and it was fine. Had to pass the border on foot again between Kenya and Tanzania - and it was funny to reflect that I was just there 9 weeks ago. And the same people were trying to cheat me. And I just had to laugh. Kind of like, I know how to do this. I KNOW HOW TO DO THIS. After some travel changes I ended up at the Chelangas and had a naturally delightful time. They are such an amazing family. David was still away at school but George, Faith, Brian, Diane and Eliud were home. AND they had a host student from NH named Katie. Her and I spent the afternoon with the kids, helping with their homework and just playing around. This family is so amazing and the kids are so well educated. Found out that George passed his secondary school exams with flying colors, received an A plain grade which only 800 out of 306,000 students received. So basically he is going to start making applications to colleges and scholarships and would like to do medicine in the US. LOVE this family. In the evening we had dinner together and then we just sat around and talked. I love these kinds of conversations because we learn so much from each other. Before I went to bed I purged some of my remaining items to Katie (she is there for 2 more months and probably will need them way more than I do) and then packed again. Diane woke me up in the early morning and Eliud took me to the airport, which is where he works. My flight to London was uneventful and relatively comfortable, and that is where I am now. LONDON. Home tomorrow and then back to my other life. As my mom said, back to reality. But I like to think both places are my realities and both places are my home.
Love,
Ann

More baby updates

So it's been a very interesting past week at the orphanage. I can probably say with certainty this has been the most personally meaningful part of my trip as well as the most emotionally exhausting. I've been escaping from the storeroom since Monday and haven't looked back, enjoying spending all day with the children and learning so much more about them. So at first I was in love with the orphanage, loved what they were doing and their philosophy. Time and experience have helped reign me in a little bit, but I still do try to remind myself that they are trying. So a few things - the children change clothes twice a day. In the mornings they wear uniforms and in the afternoons they wear play clothes. The only problem is that both sets of clothes have been in circulation way too long and are always torn and dirty and ratty. Given my 8+ hours of experience in the storeroom, I know how much clean, new clothing they have. And I know, that needs to be balanced with the understanding that they don't have a ton of resources, but I mean if you have clean clothes and there is a need for them, what's the point of keeping everything packed away? Another thing is hygiene and learning about taking care of illness. The Momas just dont have time for it or don't care or don't understand. The kids never wash their hands. They are always picking up trash off the ground and putting it in their mouth. By the end of the day my pockets are filled with junk I have confiscated from little mouths. The floors are washed by hand each day but because of the ridiculous amount of dirt and dusk, and because the children walk around barefoot a lot, the floors are dirty about 25 seconds after they are cleaned. Don't even ask about the bathrooms. The beds in the girls rooms have sheets but I have no idea how often they are washed. In the boys room most beds dont have sheet and the little mattresses are placed in the sun (not washed) after they get peed on at night. In terms of health, kids will just suffer here until someone forces the management to take them to a doctor. Ever since I organized the medicine, everyone assumes I am a doctor and all the sick and hurt kids come to me. I brought some anti-bacterial spray to use on the kids because it cleans the wounds and doesn't hurt them. Regardless of how helpful I tell them it is, they use dirty cotton balls to spread painful iodine all over the kids - which results in crying kids. They also don't believe in bandaids. . . which if this was a sterile world might make sense. But this might be the least sterile place on the planet. Babies all over here are sick and the Momas always just tell me to give them something - which I won't. I refuse to just randomly give medicine to anyone, except adults. We finally convinced them to let us (Megan is a volunteer here that just came back from vacation) take three kids to the doctors, though I swear they could all go in for a checkup. One of the kids, a really really smart little boy, had a really bad infection behind his ear that was pussing and draining constantly, and ringworm. The momas tried to convince me that it happened last week but it's just not possible. He could not have bathed for an entire week without coming and crying about the pain. At first they told me to just put something on it . . . and I said no. The second, a 3 1/2 little girl, has some serious mental health issues that need to be adddressed (saw some horrific things and of course will never see a therapist) and has been very sick lately. She wets herself often and falls asleep all the time. The third, the baby, had some serious ringworm and a really bad chest cough. So off we went this morning to a village doctor. Megan and I knew ahead of time that the Mama with us did not bring any money (which brings up other issues of lack of planning or did they expect the white people to pay?) and were secretly counting our money to make sure we had enough in the event the Mama definitely didn't bring any money - which she didn't and we paid . . . I did most of the talking with the doctor and made sure I understood the diagnosis and what medicines each kid was supposed to take. When we got back I made up a daily chart for who gets what medicine and made sure the teachers knew all about it. One major highlight of the day - the one little boy tested negative for HIV. Megan and I were just kind of sitting in fear waiting to see the outcome and were SO RELIEVED when we learned he was just normal little kid sick.
So this is kind of what my days are like here. Incredible highs when playing or talking with the little kids, and incredible lows when I learn what they have been through, how long they have actually been here (some their whole lives)and an even lower low when I realize how little they are getting of what they need. It's an interesting problem, because I see so much mismanagement on the part of the adults, so how do you fix it? I met a woman whose sister raised a lot of money for this place, but having lived here for 25+ years she absolutely knew better than to just hand over money. Instead she is getting mosquito nets for each of the kids, getting running water at the camp for older kids, and some other thinsg. But she knew that if she just gave money it was all POOF disappear. And Mama (head mama) tries hard, but she is managing all of this on her own and does not know too much about the daily operations, so she misses out on so much. Like I said, I have been trying to not be too critical of the management here, but I just look around me and I see these beautiful children who just need SO MUCH. I mean, kids don't really need a lot. A little food, a little love, a little safety and a little attention. But it's clear, with how fucked up some of these children are, that their parents really had to TRY to mess them up. And that part I just can't seem to get over . . . Nights have been hard for me because I just go home and reflect and get mad and annoyed and stressed out . . . but in the end there is little I can do but love the children and fight for them while I am here. It's been a journey and I am definitely tired. ..
Love,
Ann

Orphanage Update

Hi everyone . . . so an update on my last few days. Since Sunday I have been going to the orphanage from about 8am - 4pm. It's a pretty long day and I'm both exhausted and DIRTY when I get home. So originally Happiness had told me that she wanted me to focus on cleaning up the storeroom. So first thing Monday morning Steven (storeroom manager) and I headed in and started to work. The storeroom is just a small room off the kitchen - and the kitchen is just a small cement room used to cook food over a wood fire. So the kitchen and the storeroom are very very smoky, and the storeroom is disgustingly dirty. The entire first day I was coughing and filthy and just generally annoyed. We got about 1/3 done but I was just dreading going back into that storeroom. Lucky for me, things have changed. So on Tuesday morning both Happiness and Steven were caught up in other activities at other locations, so I was forced to make myself useful with the kids and have been having a great time with them ever since. There are 13 boys and 6 girls. The youngest is a 14-month old baby that I spend a lot of time with. The children are pretty much scheduled all day and there are two teachers. Unfortunately the students are split by sex so one very unlucky new teacher has all 13 boys . . . and remember that all kids are under 7. I've been having a great and sad time just trying to love them. So usually I spend the morning with the baby. He came when he was one year old and at that point he had never made a sound, didn't have any hair, couldn't crawl and barely sat up. There is a marked change in him and he is definitely gaining ground, but he is still very small and he takes each meal like its his last. I also discovered this morning that he has ringworm so hopefully that can be treated soon. So I've spoiled him - the orphanage has a few Momas who do the cooking and cleaning and I can't be too critical, but they tend to get very lazy and can sometimes be mean to the kids. And really, childrearing is very different here. I rarely see babies cry or whine. It just doesnt happen. So when the baby whines or cries and the Mamas ignore it, it breaks my heart. I can usually gauge nap time so the baby and I are now in the habit of rocking (walking) him to sleep in my arms with his head on my heart. And we do it twice a day and the little guy can tell the second that he leaves my arms because he always starts crying. Another thing about him - they don't use diapers too often here because of the cost. So babies just wear clothes which means that once its wet, evrything has to be changed. It's kind of annoying and yesterday I got peed on about 3 1/2 times. Once the baby is down for a nap, I usually go play with the kids during their breaks or help out in class. It can be very heartbreaking. The girls, like most women in Tanzania, are strong, quiet and resilent. They will smile and touch my hand but otherwise stick to themselves. The boys, on the other hand, are interesting. It's sad because its obvious that some of these kids need more attention and love then they will ever get here. Some of the boys, when I touch them, almost curl up like little kittens, just begging to get hugged or kissed. One of the boys becomes almost maniac if someone else tries to touch me while he is touching me. He absolutely needs to feel like he has someone to himself - and thats impossible with 20 children. I try to spend a decent amount of time with him each day, just talking or swinging or holding hands. There is another little boy who honestly goes limp when touched, he just needs it so bad. There is a set of twin boys who remind me of my cousin Richard (its the nose and mischevious behavior) and they can be very rough sometimes. There is one little boy who is just off the charts mean and he never listens and always uses violence. Its impossible to blame them because they don't know any different and because no one has time to be just with them - but that doesnt make it any easier for the staff. One of my favorite times of the day is shower time, which takes place around 11am. The kids shower by sex, and the 'showerroom' is a cement room with no door and faucets that don't work. Buckets of water are brought in, and then 13 little boys come traipsing in their little towels. The first time I was in there I didn't know what to do - and yes, someone needs to be in there. Otherwise NO washing would ever get done. It's a freaking zoo. Little boys peeing everywhere, on my feet, showing me how far they can be, showing me what they pee with, comparing penises, touching, and generally just running around. I got used to the pee on my feet (since the babies pees all over the rest of me) but it is damn near impossible to get anything done. Usually one of the teachers has to come in and then wash each child. Today we worked in tandem, she washed and then sent them to me. I dried, put vasoline on the babies (under 3) and then dressed everyone. It was exhausting. Very little of the clothing is new or matches, so its a struggle to find the kids clothes that are clean, dont have holes, and look presentable. I also spend a lot of time trying to disciple, though that is impossible too. So many know only violence or hitting and in fact most of the Mamas threaten to 'beat' the kids when they don't listen. I spend a lot of my time drying tears and trying to stop fights. Its not that the kids don't like each other - moments after the fight they are back playing, but its just all they know. I've tried as best as I can to just focus on them and on loving them, but its discouraging to see how much they really need and to know how little they will really get - and that's not to say that they don't do a good job - they just dont have all the resources . . .
Okay, I have to go home to Rosy now. Its dinner in a few hours and I need to prepare for our usual argument where she tells me I didn't eat enough (after she puts enough food for 5 people in front of me) and I tell her that I ate too much. Ahhh the routines we fall into!
I hope everyone is doing well. Been catching the news and just find myself very lucky - madagascar has been having a lot of trouble since about 5 days after I left, and now it looks like there are some problems stirring up in Nairobi. Major protests and a student death yesterday related to the extra-judicial killings of some human rights workers in the middle of the city. I'm happy to be heading home - and when I go to Nairobi I'll go directly from the airport to the Chelangas house and then back the next morning . . .so no worries about me!
Love,
Ann

New Plans

Hi everyone, hope you are all doing well. I started at the orphanage yesterday and things are going well. It's a very very dirty job and when I come home at the end of the way I am usually a little grumpy, but today I was able to rock one of the babies to sleep and play soccer with the boys, so I was happy for it. The kids here are generally pretty happy, though really quiet, and I think the director does a good job. I've also been very happy to come home to Rosy, who always has a smile on her face and makes the best damn dinners! (Michael Korsak - she is used to cooking for Indians so basically I eat great Indian food each night!) Evenings are quiet for me since I am in the house alone, so I usually just read the 4 week old Economist that Tim brought or something I can find in the house. Lights out by 9:30 and then up at 6:45 to catch my dala-dalas - which is actually proving to be one of the easiest parts so far. I'm generally really happy, but also just very very tired. It's kind of a tired that has set in the past few weeks and I am extremely ready to come home. It's week 10 now and I'm tired of being away from home, tired of adjusting, and tired of not being able to hear people on the phone when they call. I think having Tim here also brought some of it on - I kind of had my two separate worlds collide and it made me realize just how far away I really am. Last I wrote I was going to be at the orphanage until this coming weekend and then head to Mombasa and then come home. But right after I asked the agent to book the tickets to Mombasa I started to change my mind. I had always wanted to end my trip on a beach, but once things were all priced out, it was an expensive time at the beach that still needed a lot of planning (and money). So after a lot of thinking and some conversations, I have cancelled my trip to Mombasa, gotten some of my money back, and rescheduled all my flights so that I come home a week early! Which also means that I get a week and a half at home before I need to go back to work! So, absolutely no regrets and I am happy to come home while everything is still positive and happy here. I don't know how many more entries I will make before I come home, but I am so glad that all of you have been able to follow along and be with me for this trip. I look forward to talking to all of you and sharing stories and pictures. Thanks again for all your support!
Love,
Ann

Arusha and Beyond

So just a quick update on how I plan on spending the rest of my time here. I spent all of yesterday running around and arranging things and am glad to have almost everything done. I am staying in Arusha until Monday, March 16. I will be staying in the Njiro area at the house of Uday, the guy that I met in the Serengeti. It's an amazing offer because its an empty house and the housegirl will get all my food and cook for me. Tim leaves this afternoon and I have a meeting with the manager to take me to the house and get me settled in. Starting Sunday, March 8 - Sunday, March 15 I will be volunteering at the Lohada Orphanage, specifically Camp Moses. This is for children younger than 7. I will be doing a lot of organizing and gathering which is perfect for me. Happiness took me to this storeroom and asked if I could organize it in a week. I was kind of like "do you know about the Korsak women? Of course I can do it in a week." The orphanage is a great place. They have 25 children there right now, most of whom have at least one surviving parents. They take in children who have been abused, who are orphaned, or whose parents are prostitutes. The goal of the orphanage is to return the children to their families within a year, so they have a lot of support programs to fix the problems at home. So I will have to take two dala-dalas to the orphanage one-way and I am a little nervous about that, but I should be okay. I know how to get there on foot so if anything bothers me I can just get out and walk. So after my time at the orphanage I have a shuttle bus up to the Nairobi airport on Monday, Mar 16 where I will catch an early evening flight to Mombasa and will stay in Mombasa until Sunday Mar 22. Then I will fly from Mombasa to Nairobi, spend one night with the Chelangas and then on the 23rd begin to fly home.

I still have some arranging to do with my trip to Mombasa, but I hope to just relax and get some sun before coming back to a cold US. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know! I am not sure about how much internet access I will have this week, guess I will know more later today when I see about Njiro. I hope everyone is well!

Love
Ann

Safari Pictures II

Okay . . . so Tim heads home tomorrow and its been a really nice trip. Definitely different from the rest of my time here so far. We basically followed the same itinerary I posted last week, spending nights in lodges and spending the days driving and going around. We saw SO many animals and I think we were very lucky to see as much as we did. I have a lot of great picture (over 1000 now) and can't wait to go through all of them when I get home - though some are posted below with explanations.

As for me, well according to my Virgin Atlantic website I have 17 days and 30 minutes until my next flight, which will be the beginning of my journey home. I had thought about climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro in the remaining time, but the costs are so expensive PLUS its the start of the long rains here. We experienced a storm on our trip and I have no interest in experiencing that storm on a mountain! So I've decided to stay in Arusha for a week and then go to Mombasa, then finally return to Nairobi and head home.

So for Arusha - I decided that I want to find a school or orphanage to volunteer at. I have enjoyed all of my time with children here and figured it would be a nice way to end a trip. I am meeting with a woman sometime today that runs a program called Lohada. We'll see how that goes. I also met a guy in Ndutu that has a house here that he only uses occasionally and is empty right now - so he offered it to me to use! So I also need to call his manager today and check out the house! So a lot of things to do today before we get kicked out of the hotel tomorrow.

I hope everyone is doing well and see you all so soon! Happy Bday to my mom and Will. And a special thanks to Glen for that great email!


I can't quite remember where I took this picture without looking at where it fell in my camera, but I think I took it at Ndutu. This is a small area between the Serengeti and Ngorogoro Crater where we stayed for one night and did a few hours of drives. It was super dusty the first day but in the morning it was cool and really nice.

Neither Tim or I really liked the monkeys and baboons that we ran into, but sometimes they made for nice pictures or it was fun to see how they interacted. In fact, we heard stories from a lot of different lodges where the baboons become extremely aggressive and attack guests or lodge workers. The state usually comes in and 'removes' the aggressive males. This black velvet monkey is found in most of the areas and they can get to be quite large.



These are some hippos that we saw in the Ngorogoro Crater. We saw many hippos in the Serengeti, sometimes up to 15 hippos at a time. They are interesting creatures. They graze all night, for up to 12 hours, and then spend the entire rest of the day in the water.


We had seen a number of lions throughout our trip but this was one of the most exciting sitings. We came across three female lions with four cubs. The one female was dragging a dead wildebeast, trying to get it into the shape. The cubs were oblivious to how hard she was working and would just chase her around and climb on top of her.

We spent some time in Ndutu watching a whole group of vultures go at a wildebeast corpse. It was so interesting to watch them fighting each other for the remaining meat. These huge vultures would swoop in and peck at the others. Feathers would fly, things would settle, they would eat, and then another fight would start.

Safari Pictures I

We saw this a lot. In the afternoon when the sun is very hot and the animals are too tired to graze, zebras pair up like this and rest their heads on each others backs. It's a trust relationship where each zebra keeps a lookout behind the other for predators.


In the Serengeti we were able to witness the annual zebra and wildebeast migration. The animals are continually on the move for food and water and this time of year are heading south. There are literally THOUSANDS of animals and if you are in the middle of the migration, you can be completely surrounded for as far as the eye can see. Pretty amazing.

At one point we came around the side of a boulder and saw one male lion and three females all lying around the base of a rock, hiding from the sun. We watched for awhile and eventually the male got up and I took this really great picture.



We saw Cheetahs on several occasions in the Serengeti and Ngorogoro Crater. They are pretty beautiful animals and can just blend right into the landscape making them very hard to see.




This is a picture of the Ngorogoro Crater from a viewpoint on the road. It's really beautiful and green. Animals live on the rim of the crater and in the crater. Here we saw rhinos, hippos, cheetahs, lions (and cubs), elephants, zebra, hyenas, wildebeast, buffalos and more.

Extraordinary Times Call for Extraordinary Measures

This is a very unusual and maybe unnecessary entry for me to write but it is something that has been bothering me over the last 24 hours and I want to settle it. Last night I received angry messages from some women who had come across my blog and read a few entries. Though the messages were somewhat confusing, I assume they were angry with some of my comments, how I had described things, or information I had revealed. It was hard for me to get such angry comments from people I had grown to love so much and I wanted to address their comments.

This is my personal blog. It’s a blog about Ann in Africa and it’s about my whole trip. This is my way of communicating with friends and family at home and it’s a way for me to document my travel, my feelings, and what I am learning. Sometimes I do get annoyed and angry and those times are apparent in my blog, but I also know that it is clear how much I have loved this entire experience.

I went through my entire blog last night and there are some parts that are very critical of specific people or places. I am very sorry if anything I have written has hurt someone’s feelings. That was NEVER my intention but I certainly understand how it has happened. Understand that entries are just tiny moments in a whirlwind learning experience and specific stories do not do justice to my entire experience or the people I encounter. I am also sorry if I have not done a good enough job to show the people I have met how much I have appreciated their hospitality and kindness.

That being said, I absolutely stand by my blog, by the experiences I have documented, the conversations I have had and stories about the people I have met. I want to thank everyone who has read my blog and supported me through this trip. I have received amazing feedback and I would appreciate it if you kept it up.

SOOOOO, an update about where Tim and I are right now. We just arrived in the Serengeti Sopa Lodge and checked into our room. It's been a really nice trip so far and I will have so much to report at the end, including pictures. We did Tarangire Nat'l Park first, which was just okay for me. I thought it was too dusty and too hot. At lunch the first day a monkey attacked us for food. Tim ran like a little girl and got all scrapped up by a tree. I reacted by covering my face and neck and rolling into a ball. All he really wanted was some of our lunch (I think!!) but it was scary nonetheless and a good lesson that we are in animal territory now and need to be respectful of that. We did a night there and then want to Lake Manyara. I thought Lake Manyara was absolutely beautiful. It has natural ground springs so there is a lot of green and its like an open plain. Today has been the Serengeti and that has also been amazing. We have seen lions, hippos, zebras, impala, tons of species of gazelles, elephants, birds, giraffes, serval cats, cheetahs and so much more. It's been really exhilirating and our guide Thomas is really great. I doubt I will be able to give any good updates while we are traveling, but expect something good on Mar 6! I hope everyone is doing well!
Love,
Ann

An update . . . on the future

I have arrived safely in Arusha and have found a decent internet connection to be able to upload some pictures. I guess I should be reflecting on my time here so far, considering I only have 4 weeks left . . . but I don’t think I will. It’s hard to always remember the small little things, like the man that shared his homemade chiapati with me on the bus yesterday, or the way Rose’s face is so beautiful when she smiles, or the way Yona would laugh when I shuffled a deck of cards. This has been a really crazy and amazing experience for me so far. Today someone asked me why I don’t just go home early after Tim leaves. I was kind of bewildered . . . ‘For what?’ was my reply. So yes, I am enjoying it here a lot. Sometimes I need to be reminded to smile or take a deep breath, but generally and typically it’s so great. Tim arrived last night and it was nice to have someone from home visiting, someone that I can show around a little bit and impress with my small Swahili vocabulary. Plus in the hotel last night I sat down on a toilet for the first time in a LONG time and it was amazing. I also found that I have not lost my tendency to take long hot showers . . . some things never change. I have no idea what kind of connection I have for the next 10 days OR what I will be doing after that, but here is my general itinerary:

Feb 25 – I arrive via bus from Dar es Salaam and Tim arrives to Kilimanjaro Airport. We meet at the African Tulip hotel.
Feb 26 – free day to walk around Arusha and let Tim get used to the time change
Feb 27 –Tarangire National Park
Feb 28 – Lake Manyara
Feb 29 – Mar 2 Serengeti National Park
Mar 3 – Ndutu Area
Mar 4 – Ngorogoro Crater
Mar 5 – descend Crater and return to Arusha
Mar 6 – rest
Mar 7 – Tim leaves and for me?????

I hope everyone is doing well. And Maddy, no, I have NOT forgotten about you. Is that even possible? I miss everyone and hope you are all doing well. Please don't miss the 10 pictures I just posted in previous entries.
Love,
Ann

Pictures Part Deux

This is a picture of a traditional Arab door in Zanzibar. They have African doors and Arab doors, with differences related to the shape, design and decoration. The Arab doors, for example, are all curved at the top, have some kind of Arabic phrase and have a decoration of chains meant to ward off bad spirits. As with anything culturally and historically significant, these doors are being sold off on black markets around the world.



This is the one hand that I had henna done to. I also had the palm of my right hand done. I love it and think it is so decorative and beautiful. Traditionally it is done right before a wedding.




I took this picture at sunset in Zanzibar. The water there was so stunning, all shades of turquoise blues and greens and perfectly see-through. I had a really nice time at the beaches there, but it was definitely the most touristy place I had seen so far. The beaches only had white tourists. It’s a Muslim island so you definitely have to be aware of how you are dressing and behaving. One woman was topless and it seemed so stupid and careless, considering all the Zanzibari women were walking around fully covered with headscarves.

This is my dear little Irene. She is the 6-year old daughter of Gasper and Rose. She would just sit next to me for hours and chatter in Swahili, regardless of whether or not I understood her. She NEVER stopped talking or touching me. Sometimes she would get out a pick and do my hair. I loved her so much and cried when I left her.

In Morogoro the TAWE women took me up to one of the villages to visit a sub-chapter, a group of women making pottery by hand. I always enjoy my short visits to the village because I get to see how most people are living and I get a better sense of ‘real life.’ Children are my favorite people to watch and they are always so curious and sweet.

Pictures

I took this picture in Morogoro while visiting the women in the village. These are tools used for making pottery, including a corn cob and piece of a calabash for smoothing out bowls. I liked how the light was hitting it.



This is also in Morogoro at the village. We stopped at one woman’s house and I liked how her items looked hanging outside.





This is a view of Morogoro at sunset from Rose and Gasper’s house. It was so breathtakingly beautiful, but once the sun goes down here it goes down so quickly. I had to hurry to get these pictures.




This is a picture of Rose and Christine. Rose was my host in Morogoro but I spent a lot of time with these women and really loved being with them.








This is a picture of Morogoro. It is very beautiful there with the town located at the foot of the mountains. It is raining season so it always looks like the clouds are kissing the mountains. I think this is one of the most beautiful places I have seen in Tanzania so far.

Morogoro and Beyond

OKAY, so, it’s been awhile since I have written and for that I am very sorry. Probably sorrier than you the reader are . . . do you know what it’s like to have over a week without decent internet access? It’s hard . . . very hard. So I had planned on starting this blog entry off with a good discussion of what I had done in the past 10 days . . . but then Mama Loyce and I went out to dinner tonight and her and I got into a discussion, which morphed into an argument, which anywhere else would qualify as a fight. With the outcome being that our car ride home was very very quiet. Maybe I haven’t talked about Loyce as much as I should, and maybe when I say that she is difficult you the readers haven’t understood how much of an understatement that could be at times (but please also realize that she can be very very generous and kind too). But so we were out at dinner tonight talking about my time in Dodoma and Morogoro and I made that statement that I hated the term mzungu (see my last post) and that I had asked the women in the other cities to not call me that. And anyway, we had a lot of back and forth (her calling me childish and me calling her ridiculous). A high point was when she said I could survey those women later and they would all say they hated me (what?!?!). But anyway, it just reinforces this point for me that Mzungu is not a nice term. It’s a term used by people who don’t have the education or care to learn someone’s name. Her argument was that it is the culture . . . but as I have seen many many times here, culture eventually becomes a crutch for people. They don’t risk, or change, or grow, because culture does not allow it. So anyway . . . not sure where I was planning to go with that tonight, but it has me so annoyed. I feel like I have tried so hard here to conform to culture – eat the way you want me to, talk the way you want me to, sleep and live and shit the way you want me to . . . all without complaints and nothing but a genuine smile. So if my one complaint is that people practice a bit of racism here, I think it’s a valid complaint that should be entertained? Yes? No?

OKAY . . . so starting with Friday, February 13, 2009. This was my last day in Dodoma with the TAWE women and it was definitely a hectic day. In the morning I had dropped off a khanga at the tailor. As stated before, I needed another khanga like I needed a holw in the head – so I decided to get this new fabric turned into a skirt. So I went to the tailor in the morning and dropped another fabric off with some vague instructions of having some kind of pencil skirt design made. Then I went right away to the internet café to work on my portion of the FOT grant that I had been working on with the Dodoma women. So my instruction to them had been that they had to fill in two sections themselves (history and banking info) and that I would fill in most of the 3rd section myself. Once we had some more info we could finalize the third section and then submit. So I had high expectations (or so I thought) to complete my part. I spent the entire morning doing some research and the finally writing my pieces. I had set a 2:00 meeting to go over everything with the chapter, but in the end no one really showed up. It was kind of a disappointment but not totally unexpected. It has been like this the entire way. Happy met me after and we went to the tailor to pick up my skirt – but he was taking too long. We made him promise to finish it by 9:00am the next morning and then left to talk home. In the evening Grace took Happy and I to a Send-off party with her. I can’t remember how much of this I have discussed before, but here is some more info – for women there are three major events prior and during marriage celebrations. First there is the Kitchen Party. This is an event where the bride is attended to by all of her female friends and family members. The women speak in general terms of how the woman should adjust to married life and how she should please her man. In addition to this event the bride-to-be is matched with an elder woman. The elder woman spends a lot of time with her talking about very private things, such as sex and what it entails and how to please a man. I should stress that this is considered a very private event and no one talks about what occurs during this time so I can’t say for sure. I think in this time period it might be outdated since most women are not virgins, but in village settings it is very useful where women still have no idea what takes place during sex or what the mechanics include. The second event is the Send-off. This is attended by the bride-to-be and her future husband, though he sits in the audience and is generally indistinguishable. This is basically the party where her family prepares to send her off to her husband’s family. There is an exchange of gifts and it’s a very long event. The woman is not supposed to smile or laugh. In fact, she kind of has to act scared at the prospect of leaving her family. The final event is the wedding. But all three events are of equal importance and the family and family friends spend a lot of money on these things. All three events have MCs and halls and cakes and food and drinks. It’s kind of crazy. . . so I’ve digressed. But anyway I went to a Send-off. It was interesting to see and learn about but the most important thing I took away was that it is TOO LONG. I was there for 6 hours. I tell you . . . too much.
On Saturday, February 14 (also known as Valentine’s Day) was on a bus to Morogoro. So my time in Dodoma was over. I try not to reflect too often on whether or not I did any good. I think I know the answer to that and it’s kind of unsettling. So Saturday morning I got up early, went to the tailor to pick up my last remaining skirt, and then Atu, Grace, and Happy took me to the bus station. It was hard to leave them – it is always hard to leave. I tend to find my time a bit mystifying, exhausting and overwhelming, but in the end its terribly hard to be so welcomed into someone’s home, learn all about their struggles and triumphs, and then have to leave. Perhaps that is what makes me the most tired, all the leaving. I need some stability here people. So the bus ride was uneventful. There were a few members and staff from Parliament on the bus, some that I had met at the music event the previous week with Mama Kiyah’s band. So I felt in okay hands. And, as usual, a bus ride that was to take only 2 ½ hours took like 4. I am getting used to this now but sometimes its still frustrating. Waiting to pick me up at the Morogoro bus station where my Morogoro hosts, Rose and Christine. Just a bit of info, Christine is a Tanzanian women married to a Dutch man (meaning $$$$) and Rose is the youngest TAWE member at 30. So they picked me up and drove me to Rose’s home. So there are many things I cannot completely go into here because I don’t want these women to know how much I could expose or how much I have learned, but let me say that nothing is what it appears on the surface. They took me to Rose’s house where she lives with her husband and 6-year old daughter Irene. Irene, who later becamse the hardest person EVER to leave, is the sweetest silliest little girl ever. My visit was defined by her just sitting next to me on the floor chatting in Swahili in hours. I would often have to stop her with ‘beautiful little girl, you know I don’t understand you.’ To which she would rightly reply ‘But why Auntie?’ ‘Because I don’t speak Swahili . . .’ ‘But why Auntie?’ which in afterthought is perhaps the best question possible. The morning I had to leave Irene I cried like I had not cried in a long time. So in some respects Rose’s home was much nicer than others. She had an actual shower, though the water was very dirty and very cold. And she had a toilet (hole in the floor) that had a flusher. Morogoro also had a ton or fruits and vegetables. Finally, Morogoro was beautiful. Kind of tropical, set in the mountains with a lot of green plants. Besides of the islands of Dar, probably the most beautiful place I had sent yet in Tanzania. Rose is also the most beautiful Tanzanian woman I had seen so far, and her husband Gasper was definitely the best looking man I had seen too. So I spent the night with the family just settling in. I had attempted to watch a movie but Irene would NOT stop talking. At one point she brought out a pick and was doing my hair. I swear, do all 6-year olds talk that much? I have no idea.
On Sunday morning the entire family took me and a sister-in-law and child to the Mikumi National Park. I was happy to do ths because I had read about it and heard it was a nice little place to visit. I was totally wrong about how great it was. Right away we say tons of animals, including elephants, gazelles, zebras, buffalo and giraffe. On top of that we saw a lion, crocodiles, and hippos. We took a cake that I had brought with me from Dodoma (courtesy of Grace) and we had some sodas and had just a nice little day relaxing. Something to mention. I have found in Africa that family children or neighbor children are your children. So on this trip I had Irene and her two-year old cousin Soneeia. And I love children. So basically I spent the entire trip with a child or two on my lap. We had a few adults squeezed into the back of the car, so I only felt it was fair that I had one or both children in the front seat on my lap. It was really nice for me, probably one of the few times I have felt like a mother or very domestic since I have been here. I think it also helped keep me from missing my nephews too much. So we did the tour in the park and I got a lot of great picture and had a really nice time. And then on the way home I sat in the back and had Soneeia lying asleep across my legs (welcome to Africa car child safety) and then Irene was tucked under my left arm sound asleep. It was a nice feeling for me and I tried my best to make them comfortable.
On Monday I went with Christine, a TAWE Dodoma member. She is married to a Dutch man and has two very successful bars in the area. She is a truly WONDERFUL woman. She has this extraordinary energy and she brings life to everything. Being with her made me so happy and made me laugh so much. We spent all morning on Monday just talking about her life and about Tanzanian women and how much they struggle. And as always I learned a lot. In the afternoon I had lunch with her and her son and his fiancé. I wont go into too much detail since I have os much to write, but Christine is an amazing woman and I wish more people (myself included) had her energy and love for life. Tuesday and Wednesday were spent meeting with different women and learning about their businesses. I spent some time with a Mama who raises kukus (chickens) for eggs, a Mama who has a small shop selling khangas, and a few meetings with all the leadership. I have to say, this has been the most impressive group of TAWE women so far. They are much more ‘village’ than the Dar women yet they do so much with what they have. One Mama has several hundred acres that she is farming and hopes to buy a tractor, another has several of her own businesses, another does this and another does that. They are trying to start their own sub-chapter and they are trying to start their own business together as a chapter (selling fish). In all I have seen so much more participation. One thing to remark on for Wednesday afternoon. I had an event with the entire chapter and it was really neat. So they call contributed money to buy food and then one Mama spent the entire day preparing. In the afternoon we had chicken, vegetables, potatoes and chili. I was introduced to the entire chapter, we had some speeches (myself included), some dancing (reluctantly I was involved) and then some giftgiving (where I was the only receipient). It is incredible how gracious and kind these women are. I received a khanga and a traditional food cover. I showed my appreciation by dancing a bit and shaking my hips to make everyone laugh. While we were dancing Christine happened to share with me that she wears ushangas. Ushangas are a tradition of the Kitchen Party. Ushangas are beaded jewelry that you wear around your hips. They are big enough that they don’t fall off of you, but small enough that you hardly notice and are comfortable. So Chrstine had some and in a moment of dancing showed them off. I just loved them. So later they told me all about them, how at your Kitchen party your family and friends give you a ton and how on your wedding night your stomach and hips are decorated in beads. Then, depending on tribe, you wear them forever. So I fell in love with the idea. I am a total feminist, but the idea of having something that no one sees but your love is pretty powerful. Christine and I talked about them and in the end her gift to me was a set of two Ushangas which I have now worn around my hips for several days. And I love them.
On Thursday I finished up my trip to Morogoro and the TAWE women took me into the village to meet a group of women who also make their own pottery (similar to Dodoma). It was an interesting experience for me and I always love to see how people outside of the large cities live. I love to see the children and the houses and just watch. I had on TAWE member remark that I was not paying attention to ‘the program.’ This kind of made me angry and I took a few minutes to stop and think about it and then went back to her and explained that as long as they women were working to make money to improve their lives, then yes, their children and their homes were just as important as their pottery.
On Friday morning I prepared to leave Morogoro. So I have no spoken a lot about Rose, my host, but I truly loved her. She is the TAWE member closest to my age and one of the sweetest women ever. Most of the time she is far away, her mind always working on some problem or stressing on something. But no matter what she had the best smile ever. In some ways I felt very far away from her and in others we were as close as can be. But on Friday morning we went to visit Irene at school so that I could say goodbye. I stood in front of the class as all 35 children said ‘Good morning, how are you?’ in English. It was all very sweet and I loved it, but it was awful to have to bend down and tell Irene how beautiful she was and how much I was going to miss her and how much I loved her. As I stood up Rose and I held hands and we went outside and cried and hugged each other.
I can’t even begin to explain it, but it was so hard. I spend the rest of the day, including after I got on the bus, alternating between laughing and crying with Rose. I will love that family so much, as much as I have loved all of these other women as well.
I arrived in Dar in the afternoon and was taken to Loyce;s house. I have to say, Loyce annoys the shit out of me but she is reliable and predictable and comfortable. As we pulled up to her house I saw Edina outside and was just so happy to be ‘home’ and have something I recognized. When Loyce got home I convinced her to travel with me to Zanzibar the following morning. So Loyce and I spent Sat Feb 21 – Mon Feb 23 in Zanzibar. I can probably go into it a lot more, but I had a pretty decent time. At some points I regretted having gone with her (like when she orders me around) and at other times I was very grateful (like when she can negotiate a good rate or explain things to me). We took the ferry to Zanzibar and then took some shared transport north to Kendwa where we spent two nights sleeping in a bungalow and the days swimming on the beach. Another bonus for me, Loyce does not know how to swim. So if I got annoyed, I just went swimming.
So it is now Monday and I have just returned from Zanzibar. I have found myself to be a bit cranky lately and I hope I come out of it soon. I think I just miss showers and toilets and clean water and air conditioning and just feeling clean. But these are all minor complaints because I AM HAVING A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE. Sometimes it is hard for me to recognize that and sometimes I don’t even see it, but every once in awhile when I can step back and absorb what I am doing, I can see how truly powerful this experience is. It’s hard to believe that I am heading home in almost 4 weeks!
So tomorrow is a rest day and then I hard to Arusha on a bus (which is supposed to take like 8 hours but knowing Africa it will take like 12). At that point Tim will arrive from the states and we will have a nice 8 days visiting the northern circuit of Tanzania, including the Serengeti, Ngorogoro crater and Lake Manyara. I am thinking that this taste of luxury and relaxation will help get some of my energy back and I’ll be ready to tackle the last 2 ½ weeks of my visit.
I hope everyone is doing well. I had some nice emails from Brenda and Maya, so thanks for that. I also had an amazing call from my best friend Casey Stell. It was a short call but very uplifting and I was so happy to hear from her. Take care and be well. I will be on true Safari for the next week or so and I cannot guarantee a good entry until afterwards!

Love,
Ann

Mzungu what?

Hi everyone! It's been almost a week since my last post and I hope everyone is doing well. Thanks to Casey and Jennifer for the celebrity gossip. I just spent about 15 minutes on dlisted.com getting my fix. . . PLEASE see below for some more pictures. Life has been interesting here in Dodoma. Let me start with a rundown of all my activities since we last met. On Saturday morning Happy invited me to come visit her home and meet her family. A small aside on Happy - she is like my best friend here. She is the only TAWE member I have met who is remotely close to my age (she is 34) and she is just so kind and her family welcomed me into their home so warmly. We behave like sisters, holding hands when we walk and all the Mamas know that they should bring Happy along for me when they take me on errands. Being close in age we also are responsible for carrying the Mama's bags, for cleaning up after guests, for serving tea, and all other activities that the youngest people are required to do. Unlike most of the other women in the TAWE Dodoma chapter, Happy is a bush-girl. She lives far outside of town and must make the long trip into down each day. She stopped over at Atu's house (my house) Saturday morning and then we talked into town to the dala-dala station. So the annoying thing about dala-dalas is that they don't leave until they are completely full, and by completely full I mean there are at least 18 people sitting and 4-5 people standing. So if you get to the dala-dala station and there is only standing room left, you will probably want to wait until that bus leaves and another one arrives - AND then you have to wait for the new one to fill up. So it kind of makes sense that things don't run on a real time table here. We waited about 30 minutes and then jumped into a dala-dala. We also had Grace's son TJ with us, taking him out to the village to play with Happy's kids. The dala-dala ride was about 20 minutes north of town. We jumped out and then walked another 20 minutes down a bad dirt road to her home. Happy has a decent amount of land where she grows corns, beans, and rice and she also raises cows for milk. She lives with her mother (Mama), her two children, her brother's children, and some other random family members that live in the concession outside. Her home is very very basic, though she does have electricity and running water. Happy is, well, happy, but she struggle A LOT. It really annoys me to see TAWE wanting to work with Ihumwa so eagerly when some of their own members need some training and grant money. Happy's youngest son, Abraham, just started school this year and she is still struggling with a way to pay the school fees for both kids. She comes into town randomly to meet with people and ask to borrow money from friends, but not much help has come her way. I had some of Happy's milk when I was visiting her home and it was delicious. I don't think I have ever had milk as fresh as that. Myuji, the village where Happy lives, also hosts a ton of missionaries. Right next to her home is an orphanage and we stopped in. There are Catholic Sisters who take care of 52 children, ranging in age from newborn to teenager. It was a neat place. Happy asked them something like this - 'Sister, you have no boyfriend, no man, and no children. How can you manage to love these children as your own.' And the Sister replied 'God has given me the will to love them.' They were just very very sweet women and the children seemed well taken care of. A one year old girl was just following me around, wanting to play with my earrings and eat the biscuits and drink the juice that had been offered to us. They took my mailing address and promised to send updates. At this point Happy and I were very late for getting back into town. We knew all the Mamas would waiting for us, so we grabbed TJ and then, after waiting for awhile, took a few unique transports back. In the first, a car stopped and picked us up and after having been in the back, we can definitely tell that the drivers are on something. It was interesting, I think if I had been alone I would have been scared, but we had TJ with us so the concern was more about making sure he was sitting near us, in a good seat. We got out at the first chance. The second transport was a dala-dala of young punks who were just rude and drove super crazy. We were happy to finally end up in the city! So we had big plans on Saturday evening. One TAWE member, Mama Kiyah, is a well-known musician and has a band. On Saturday night there was an event for Parliament honoring the Prime Minister and Mama Kiyah's band had been asked to perform. I was invited along and I spent 6 hours at the event. So, it was an interesting event and I had a nice time experiencing a Tanzanian celebration and seeing so many members of Parliament, including the Speaker, Prime Minister and many Ministers, but Tanzanians of course do not run on a timetable so we were always behind schedule, running over, etc. Also Mama Kiyah talks more than any person I have ever met. And anyone who knows me well knows that sometimes I just need quiet time (i.e. shut up). But I guess this is a true testament to how much patience I have learned here because I was kind and interested all night! On Sunday I had a free day. Atu went into town for Church and I slept in. I had been feeling a little caged in - imagine being under a microscope ALL the time. The women are always checking up on me and even the kids and housegirls are always reporting on what I do. So I took the opportunity to just walk out of the house and try my hand at finding my way into town. The kids, who up until this point had not been too kind to me, where all of a sudden interested and worried about me. They followed me a bit of the way, asking where I was going, but I gave them some of their own medicine and pretended I didn't understand them. I was very happy to find that I was able to find my way into town, and estimate its about a 1 3/4 mile walk? That was important for me because it meant in the future I could come and go as I pleased, not depending on someone to walk with me or show me the way. Since this day I have walked to and from town each day, always declining rides. So I kind of just tooled around town, reviewed a grant, and then went and had a late lunch with Grace and Happy. In the evening Grace and Atu had some meetings. Meetings are interesting here because most people don't have offices or big spaces for meetings, so there are a few outdoor 'cafes' that allow people to congregate as long as they buy drinks. So we went to this place and Grace and Atu disappeared for their meetings. Happy and I sat outside to watch people and drink some Konyagi and coke. Long story short, I got little tipsy. And then this guy came and bought us each our own bottles of Konyagi . . . and then I got a little drunk. This guy was definitely interested in me, so Grace and Atu took advantage and invited him to dinner, knowing he would pay (sometimes the women don't help the feminist movement here!). So we went and had some kuku (chicken) and chips. We all definitely got silly but it was a lot of fun and we did a lot of talking. Monday morning we all woke up early and went to visit Parliament. I know what you are thinking - hungover? That's the beauty of Konyagi . . . no hangover, but we were definitely tired. So we all got dressed in nice clothes, me wearing a dress of Grace's from her youth. It was all very formal and ceremonial. When you walk into the Parliament building you have to bow to Parliament. Everyone stands when the speaker enteres, and each time you enter or leave you have to bow again. We sat through 2 hours of a Q&A session. Basically, each day questions are collected for the ministers. At the end of the day the ministers are given all the questions and required to answer all questions the next day. One-off or follow-up questions are handled during the presentation. So I was able to hear all the ministers speak about current issues. I was aware of most because I buy the English newspapers, and Mama Kiyah translated everything they were saying. So I don't want to force my culture on this, but it appeared to me that few people were really paying attention. There is a lot of note passing on the floor - there are porters who collect the notes and then distribute them. So for example, if Casey and I were on the floor together but sitting far apart, we could definitely just pass notes all day long . . . and while some of the notes are relevant to politics, I would guess most aren't! Another interesting thing is that when one member says something that others agree with, they slap their hand on the tables to mimic clapping. It was neat for me to listen to the minister of women and children discuss female genital mutiliation. It is illegal in Tanzania but still practiced by tribes. She was appealling to all the ministers to go back to their districts and stress the importance of banning the practice. THEN one MALE minister actually asked how she can expect the ministers to convey such an unpopular message when elections are coming so soon. So basically he was saying, I dont give a shit about women's health, I just want to get re-elected. It shouldn't surprise me anymore to see those kinds of responses from men here, but it still annoys me a lot. After the Q&A session special guests are recognized, including our group. Mama Kiyah worked hard to get us announced as TAWE, not as friends of Minister X,Y,Z. It was important that we were announced as members of a women's group. So the Speaker actually announces the guests from the floor, says each of our names, and individually we all stand and bow to parliament. He thanked me in English for coming. It was pretty neat and the funny thing is that Parliament is broadcast live on TV all day, so immediately TAWE members in different districts were calling to say they saw us, or new people were asking the TAWE dodoma women how to join. I guess I was a celebrity for a day! After Parliament I was pretty tired and went to take a rest. In the evening I walked down to town and got a haircut. I was pretty nervous about it, but Loyce had made it clear two weeks ago that I needed a haircut and I was beginning to agree. I was assured that a woman named Miriam had cut white people's hair before and so I went to her. She did a pretty decent job and it cost me about $7. In the evening Happy and I walked home and got caught in a huge storm. There wasn't anywhere to go, so we just continued the walk home and arrived completely soaked and cold. On Tuesday morning me and several TAWE members went to visit the Ihumwa women's pottery group. These women are bush women, very uneducated and living with very little. There story is pretty neat - they walk 5 hours one day to dig for clay. They can only bring back what they can carry and typically return with a bucket of 50 pounds of clay on their heads - walking the whole way. Then they sieve the clay by hand and remove as many rocks as possible. They buy some water (50 shillings a bucket) and mix the clay with water and let is sit. Then, by hand and using calabash shells and corncobs as tools, they create vases, cooking pieces, pots, etc. They put little designs and the pieces are really nice. Afterwards the pieces dry for 2-3 days and then are fired - literally. They sit the pieces on rocks, build a fire right on top and about 30 minutes later the pieces are done. The problem is that they dont really have access to a market and the firing leaves the pieces with black soot marks. Our job was to go there, get information, and then work together to create a proposal for additional training and tools. Its hard because these women are lacking os much - and there is nothing we can do about the distance to the clay. So its basically about getting some training and tools such as a potters wheel or kiln. And then we are further constrained by costs, etc. So its been interesting to discuss this grant with TAWE because they just want to put together a budget for everything - when we can only ask for $3,000 max. Another problem is that I think they expect me to do it all - and that's just not going ot happen. I have some of my own work to do on it today, but I won't do all of it or even 1/2 of it. It's time that TAWE take responsibility for their actions and their group. I have another meeting with them today and then I leave tomorrow, so it's very frustrating. We spent a few hours with the women and then went back into town. I was feeling really down that day because it was almost my hump day - my half-way mark. Sometimes I feel like I can't believe I only have 6 more weeks left, and then other times I'm like shit, I have 6 more weeks left . . . so I was just having one of those days, wishing for a toilet, a hot shower, hygenically prepared food, etc. You know, the basics. The women could tell I was out of it and just told me to go home. So I walked home with Yona, took an early bath, got some clean clothes on, read a paper and listened to music. I felt a lot better after that. On Wednesday morning I went to visit a woman who makes Lishe, a flour like mixture of corn, soybeans, millet, peanuts and rice. These things are round and then eventually made into a porridge. It's a health product marketed for pregnant women, children, and sick people. It was one of the most intersting products I have seen so far and I enjoyed hearing about how she makes it. She gave me a kilo to take home, which I then gave to Atu for Yona. In the afternoon we met about the grant and very little progress was made. No one in TAWE seems to want to take responsibility for it. Wednesday night I took Happy, Grace, and Atu out for dinner, which seems one of the few ways I can thank these peopel for such hospitality and love. AND it was one of the best meals I have had in a LONG time, so well worth it. On Thursday I went to visit a Mama who makes and sells peanut butter. That too was super neat because it's really easy and I think I can make some when I get home.
So it's time to leave soon and again it will be hard to leave these people. Yesterday at lunch they had a little send-off for me, where some members gave me small gifts. Mama Kiyah gave me a tape of her band and the chairperson Sarah gave me a khanga, which I am getting made into a skirt.Happy and her mother also gave me a khanga which I had made into a skirt yesterday and its beautiful. Happy and I have gotten very close and it's going to be hard to leave her. So I have been struggling for the past few days with how hard Happy's life is and how difficult it has been for her to get money for school fees. I've been weighing that with Pilar's advice about how giving people money changes everything - and I believe she is right - but I had also seen Happys home and it just wasnt sitting right with me. After a few days of thought, I decided I was going to give her the money for school fews. I was kind of nervous about saying something to her, but as soon as I said something she started crying so hard. So, in the end, I really think I made the right choice. I don't know, I mean maybe I've fallen into a trap - but in the end I made the choice that felt right for me and I feel good about it. I made her promise not to say anything to anyone else and she agreed. Best $170 I have spent in a LONG time.
Before I go I want to explain the title of this blog. So Mzungu refers to the name for white people. I have been told by many people that its not a bad term, but believe me its definitely meant in a racist way and you just have to see how someone behaves when they direct it at you to know that its not good. AND it drives me crazy because I hear it ALL the time, even from the TAWE women. So my new policy, as I've explained to TAWE, is that I will not respond to anyone who calls me that, including them. Its been an interesting experiment and most are trying really really hard to drop the term. Raheima, the house girl, even apologized this mornign after Happy told her to stop calling me that. But regardless of the 5-10 people who are learning not to use the word, the entire rest of the town does, and I have started ignoring A LOT of people. Sometimes people are shouting it because they think maybe I can't hear them? I can definitely hear them . . . .
I hope everyone is well. I've gotten a little for the first time yesterday and today, but I think it's just either a cold or allergies. I feel a little better today already!
I love you all and take care.
Ann

Dodoma Pictures II

I took this picture last night walking home to Atu's house with Happy. It's rainy season in Dodoma so there are always a lot of clouds, kind of like in Madagascar. When the sun starts to go down at night it's really beautiful.



I captured this little boy sleeping when we were visiting the Ihumwa women. The mother just sat like that for hours, most of the time not even leaning against anything.




This is Happy and her mom. A lot of times I forget all the women's name, but in most cases they can just be called Mama. Mama bought me a khanga as a send-off present and since I needed another khanga like I needed a hole in the head, I had it made into a skirt!


This is some of the pottery that the women make by hand. They design the pottery and then leave it to dry for 2-3 days. Once it hardens they rest the pieces on rocks, put firewood around it and then set a big fire that burns down for 30-35 minutes. Once the fire is out they pull the pieces out, let them cool, and then they are ready to be sold.

Dodoma Pictures

One of my projects in Dodoma is to visit the Ihumwa women pottery group and assess how we can help them make better quality products - and then start writing a grant to request money. 5 TAWE members and myself took a dala-dala out to the village and spent an afternoon with the Ihumwa women learning about how they make their pottery. They do everything by hand and the products are really nice but are burned directly in the fire so have dark soot marks on them.
I went with Happy to visit her home. Most of the TAWE women in Dodoma live in the town, but Happy is a bush-girl. She lives 20 minutes outside of town via a dala-dala and then its another 20 minute walk on a dirt road. She lives with her mother, two children, her brother's children and some other random people. She produces milk. This picture is Happy's niece and I thought she was so beautiful

Myuji is the village where Happy lives. For some reason there are a ton of missionaries in that area. Right next to Happy's land there is a orphanage. I asked Happy to take me there and we spent 30 minutes visiting. There are several Sisters who care for 52 children, as young as infants and as old as teenagers. This Sister was so kind and she loved the children.

This is Happy's property. The right side is there the random people live and the left house structure is her home. There are no screen on the windows and its just a basic cement structure.




This is the 'dishwashing' area at my host family's house. Rahiema, the housegirl, will sit out here next to the water pump and wash the dishes after each meal. The structure behind the water pump is a chicken coop. One of Atu's businesses is selling eggs - she callects 30-40 eggs per day. So yes, I eat eggs and chicken quite often!