Mzungu what?

Hi everyone! It's been almost a week since my last post and I hope everyone is doing well. Thanks to Casey and Jennifer for the celebrity gossip. I just spent about 15 minutes on dlisted.com getting my fix. . . PLEASE see below for some more pictures. Life has been interesting here in Dodoma. Let me start with a rundown of all my activities since we last met. On Saturday morning Happy invited me to come visit her home and meet her family. A small aside on Happy - she is like my best friend here. She is the only TAWE member I have met who is remotely close to my age (she is 34) and she is just so kind and her family welcomed me into their home so warmly. We behave like sisters, holding hands when we walk and all the Mamas know that they should bring Happy along for me when they take me on errands. Being close in age we also are responsible for carrying the Mama's bags, for cleaning up after guests, for serving tea, and all other activities that the youngest people are required to do. Unlike most of the other women in the TAWE Dodoma chapter, Happy is a bush-girl. She lives far outside of town and must make the long trip into down each day. She stopped over at Atu's house (my house) Saturday morning and then we talked into town to the dala-dala station. So the annoying thing about dala-dalas is that they don't leave until they are completely full, and by completely full I mean there are at least 18 people sitting and 4-5 people standing. So if you get to the dala-dala station and there is only standing room left, you will probably want to wait until that bus leaves and another one arrives - AND then you have to wait for the new one to fill up. So it kind of makes sense that things don't run on a real time table here. We waited about 30 minutes and then jumped into a dala-dala. We also had Grace's son TJ with us, taking him out to the village to play with Happy's kids. The dala-dala ride was about 20 minutes north of town. We jumped out and then walked another 20 minutes down a bad dirt road to her home. Happy has a decent amount of land where she grows corns, beans, and rice and she also raises cows for milk. She lives with her mother (Mama), her two children, her brother's children, and some other random family members that live in the concession outside. Her home is very very basic, though she does have electricity and running water. Happy is, well, happy, but she struggle A LOT. It really annoys me to see TAWE wanting to work with Ihumwa so eagerly when some of their own members need some training and grant money. Happy's youngest son, Abraham, just started school this year and she is still struggling with a way to pay the school fees for both kids. She comes into town randomly to meet with people and ask to borrow money from friends, but not much help has come her way. I had some of Happy's milk when I was visiting her home and it was delicious. I don't think I have ever had milk as fresh as that. Myuji, the village where Happy lives, also hosts a ton of missionaries. Right next to her home is an orphanage and we stopped in. There are Catholic Sisters who take care of 52 children, ranging in age from newborn to teenager. It was a neat place. Happy asked them something like this - 'Sister, you have no boyfriend, no man, and no children. How can you manage to love these children as your own.' And the Sister replied 'God has given me the will to love them.' They were just very very sweet women and the children seemed well taken care of. A one year old girl was just following me around, wanting to play with my earrings and eat the biscuits and drink the juice that had been offered to us. They took my mailing address and promised to send updates. At this point Happy and I were very late for getting back into town. We knew all the Mamas would waiting for us, so we grabbed TJ and then, after waiting for awhile, took a few unique transports back. In the first, a car stopped and picked us up and after having been in the back, we can definitely tell that the drivers are on something. It was interesting, I think if I had been alone I would have been scared, but we had TJ with us so the concern was more about making sure he was sitting near us, in a good seat. We got out at the first chance. The second transport was a dala-dala of young punks who were just rude and drove super crazy. We were happy to finally end up in the city! So we had big plans on Saturday evening. One TAWE member, Mama Kiyah, is a well-known musician and has a band. On Saturday night there was an event for Parliament honoring the Prime Minister and Mama Kiyah's band had been asked to perform. I was invited along and I spent 6 hours at the event. So, it was an interesting event and I had a nice time experiencing a Tanzanian celebration and seeing so many members of Parliament, including the Speaker, Prime Minister and many Ministers, but Tanzanians of course do not run on a timetable so we were always behind schedule, running over, etc. Also Mama Kiyah talks more than any person I have ever met. And anyone who knows me well knows that sometimes I just need quiet time (i.e. shut up). But I guess this is a true testament to how much patience I have learned here because I was kind and interested all night! On Sunday I had a free day. Atu went into town for Church and I slept in. I had been feeling a little caged in - imagine being under a microscope ALL the time. The women are always checking up on me and even the kids and housegirls are always reporting on what I do. So I took the opportunity to just walk out of the house and try my hand at finding my way into town. The kids, who up until this point had not been too kind to me, where all of a sudden interested and worried about me. They followed me a bit of the way, asking where I was going, but I gave them some of their own medicine and pretended I didn't understand them. I was very happy to find that I was able to find my way into town, and estimate its about a 1 3/4 mile walk? That was important for me because it meant in the future I could come and go as I pleased, not depending on someone to walk with me or show me the way. Since this day I have walked to and from town each day, always declining rides. So I kind of just tooled around town, reviewed a grant, and then went and had a late lunch with Grace and Happy. In the evening Grace and Atu had some meetings. Meetings are interesting here because most people don't have offices or big spaces for meetings, so there are a few outdoor 'cafes' that allow people to congregate as long as they buy drinks. So we went to this place and Grace and Atu disappeared for their meetings. Happy and I sat outside to watch people and drink some Konyagi and coke. Long story short, I got little tipsy. And then this guy came and bought us each our own bottles of Konyagi . . . and then I got a little drunk. This guy was definitely interested in me, so Grace and Atu took advantage and invited him to dinner, knowing he would pay (sometimes the women don't help the feminist movement here!). So we went and had some kuku (chicken) and chips. We all definitely got silly but it was a lot of fun and we did a lot of talking. Monday morning we all woke up early and went to visit Parliament. I know what you are thinking - hungover? That's the beauty of Konyagi . . . no hangover, but we were definitely tired. So we all got dressed in nice clothes, me wearing a dress of Grace's from her youth. It was all very formal and ceremonial. When you walk into the Parliament building you have to bow to Parliament. Everyone stands when the speaker enteres, and each time you enter or leave you have to bow again. We sat through 2 hours of a Q&A session. Basically, each day questions are collected for the ministers. At the end of the day the ministers are given all the questions and required to answer all questions the next day. One-off or follow-up questions are handled during the presentation. So I was able to hear all the ministers speak about current issues. I was aware of most because I buy the English newspapers, and Mama Kiyah translated everything they were saying. So I don't want to force my culture on this, but it appeared to me that few people were really paying attention. There is a lot of note passing on the floor - there are porters who collect the notes and then distribute them. So for example, if Casey and I were on the floor together but sitting far apart, we could definitely just pass notes all day long . . . and while some of the notes are relevant to politics, I would guess most aren't! Another interesting thing is that when one member says something that others agree with, they slap their hand on the tables to mimic clapping. It was neat for me to listen to the minister of women and children discuss female genital mutiliation. It is illegal in Tanzania but still practiced by tribes. She was appealling to all the ministers to go back to their districts and stress the importance of banning the practice. THEN one MALE minister actually asked how she can expect the ministers to convey such an unpopular message when elections are coming so soon. So basically he was saying, I dont give a shit about women's health, I just want to get re-elected. It shouldn't surprise me anymore to see those kinds of responses from men here, but it still annoys me a lot. After the Q&A session special guests are recognized, including our group. Mama Kiyah worked hard to get us announced as TAWE, not as friends of Minister X,Y,Z. It was important that we were announced as members of a women's group. So the Speaker actually announces the guests from the floor, says each of our names, and individually we all stand and bow to parliament. He thanked me in English for coming. It was pretty neat and the funny thing is that Parliament is broadcast live on TV all day, so immediately TAWE members in different districts were calling to say they saw us, or new people were asking the TAWE dodoma women how to join. I guess I was a celebrity for a day! After Parliament I was pretty tired and went to take a rest. In the evening I walked down to town and got a haircut. I was pretty nervous about it, but Loyce had made it clear two weeks ago that I needed a haircut and I was beginning to agree. I was assured that a woman named Miriam had cut white people's hair before and so I went to her. She did a pretty decent job and it cost me about $7. In the evening Happy and I walked home and got caught in a huge storm. There wasn't anywhere to go, so we just continued the walk home and arrived completely soaked and cold. On Tuesday morning me and several TAWE members went to visit the Ihumwa women's pottery group. These women are bush women, very uneducated and living with very little. There story is pretty neat - they walk 5 hours one day to dig for clay. They can only bring back what they can carry and typically return with a bucket of 50 pounds of clay on their heads - walking the whole way. Then they sieve the clay by hand and remove as many rocks as possible. They buy some water (50 shillings a bucket) and mix the clay with water and let is sit. Then, by hand and using calabash shells and corncobs as tools, they create vases, cooking pieces, pots, etc. They put little designs and the pieces are really nice. Afterwards the pieces dry for 2-3 days and then are fired - literally. They sit the pieces on rocks, build a fire right on top and about 30 minutes later the pieces are done. The problem is that they dont really have access to a market and the firing leaves the pieces with black soot marks. Our job was to go there, get information, and then work together to create a proposal for additional training and tools. Its hard because these women are lacking os much - and there is nothing we can do about the distance to the clay. So its basically about getting some training and tools such as a potters wheel or kiln. And then we are further constrained by costs, etc. So its been interesting to discuss this grant with TAWE because they just want to put together a budget for everything - when we can only ask for $3,000 max. Another problem is that I think they expect me to do it all - and that's just not going ot happen. I have some of my own work to do on it today, but I won't do all of it or even 1/2 of it. It's time that TAWE take responsibility for their actions and their group. I have another meeting with them today and then I leave tomorrow, so it's very frustrating. We spent a few hours with the women and then went back into town. I was feeling really down that day because it was almost my hump day - my half-way mark. Sometimes I feel like I can't believe I only have 6 more weeks left, and then other times I'm like shit, I have 6 more weeks left . . . so I was just having one of those days, wishing for a toilet, a hot shower, hygenically prepared food, etc. You know, the basics. The women could tell I was out of it and just told me to go home. So I walked home with Yona, took an early bath, got some clean clothes on, read a paper and listened to music. I felt a lot better after that. On Wednesday morning I went to visit a woman who makes Lishe, a flour like mixture of corn, soybeans, millet, peanuts and rice. These things are round and then eventually made into a porridge. It's a health product marketed for pregnant women, children, and sick people. It was one of the most intersting products I have seen so far and I enjoyed hearing about how she makes it. She gave me a kilo to take home, which I then gave to Atu for Yona. In the afternoon we met about the grant and very little progress was made. No one in TAWE seems to want to take responsibility for it. Wednesday night I took Happy, Grace, and Atu out for dinner, which seems one of the few ways I can thank these peopel for such hospitality and love. AND it was one of the best meals I have had in a LONG time, so well worth it. On Thursday I went to visit a Mama who makes and sells peanut butter. That too was super neat because it's really easy and I think I can make some when I get home.
So it's time to leave soon and again it will be hard to leave these people. Yesterday at lunch they had a little send-off for me, where some members gave me small gifts. Mama Kiyah gave me a tape of her band and the chairperson Sarah gave me a khanga, which I am getting made into a skirt.Happy and her mother also gave me a khanga which I had made into a skirt yesterday and its beautiful. Happy and I have gotten very close and it's going to be hard to leave her. So I have been struggling for the past few days with how hard Happy's life is and how difficult it has been for her to get money for school fees. I've been weighing that with Pilar's advice about how giving people money changes everything - and I believe she is right - but I had also seen Happys home and it just wasnt sitting right with me. After a few days of thought, I decided I was going to give her the money for school fews. I was kind of nervous about saying something to her, but as soon as I said something she started crying so hard. So, in the end, I really think I made the right choice. I don't know, I mean maybe I've fallen into a trap - but in the end I made the choice that felt right for me and I feel good about it. I made her promise not to say anything to anyone else and she agreed. Best $170 I have spent in a LONG time.
Before I go I want to explain the title of this blog. So Mzungu refers to the name for white people. I have been told by many people that its not a bad term, but believe me its definitely meant in a racist way and you just have to see how someone behaves when they direct it at you to know that its not good. AND it drives me crazy because I hear it ALL the time, even from the TAWE women. So my new policy, as I've explained to TAWE, is that I will not respond to anyone who calls me that, including them. Its been an interesting experiment and most are trying really really hard to drop the term. Raheima, the house girl, even apologized this mornign after Happy told her to stop calling me that. But regardless of the 5-10 people who are learning not to use the word, the entire rest of the town does, and I have started ignoring A LOT of people. Sometimes people are shouting it because they think maybe I can't hear them? I can definitely hear them . . . .
I hope everyone is well. I've gotten a little for the first time yesterday and today, but I think it's just either a cold or allergies. I feel a little better today already!
I love you all and take care.
Ann